(Originally written in 1981 – Rewritten with addendums in 2026)
Our childhoods are filled with dreams of hitting a home run that wins the World Series, running 100 yards with a kickoff return in the Super Bowl, or by calmly ramming home a 20 ft putt on the 18th at Augusta National to win the Masters.
Eventually, we undergo a physical revolution as our bodies adapt to the inevitable evolution of time and competition. Many lose interest in playing games after Little League. Others are good enough for high school teams but can’t play at the collegiate level. By the end of college, all but the pro prospects remain, and even a precious few of them reach their cherished childhood dreams.
As dreams turn into reality, tomorrow’s superstars become today’s doctors, sales professionals, accountants, and assembly line workers.
The dugout seat becomes a bleacher seat, and the closest we get to the 18th at August National is Jim Nantz’s words’ eye view on CBS.
Yet for some of us, watching is not enough. No, sir, I’m a player. Remember that catch I made back in 72? So what, I’m not in my twenties anymore. Gordie Howe played in the NHL until he was 54. Tom Brady was a Super Bowl at 45. I’ve got loads of good years left. This mentality defines the weekend warrior. You know him. Grey hairs are winning a turf war with the darker ones while the waistline is losing a battle of it’s own. He still plays to win, although just playing is more important now.
The weekend warrior has two favorite sports—softball and touch football. He will play co-ed if he must, but only if he has no other option. This story is about one of those many Sunday touch football games. It’s a game not unlike the thousands of games going on any weekend around the country. Like those games, it’s unique in its own way. In retrospect, however, it’s a Weekend Warrior Hall of Fame game. But who knew then? So when life was good, and anything was possible. I pick up the story from there. Remember, it’s 1981.
As with most weekend games, I drive to the field with one question in mind, “How many guys will show up today. Geez, I hope we get at least six. Once you have enough guys for a game, you hope an even number of people show up. this way no one has to sit out, or you don’t have to pick up some stranger walking by the playground looking for a game. On this day, seven show. Armen Keteyian, a former college baseball player and business associate of mine at a San Diego PR firm, Ken Bentley another co-worker who had twice qualified for the NCAA Tennis Championships, Armen’s ex college roommate Randy Hanson and me, a former Division 1 college pitcher and soccer goalkeeper who was good enough to spend one day in camp with the New York Cosmos before being told there would be no need for me to return for a second. Each of us Weekend Warriors HAS athletic credits better than most, yet there were three other players. Jay Thomas, co-star of television’s Mork & Mindy, who claims to have been drafted by the Charlotte Hornets of the World Football League, was our fifth. Since the WFL has been out of business for seven years, there is no way to validate Thomas’ claim, but we know he lived in Charlotte, so we nod our heads and take his word for it. Our sixth player is Dave Smith, the new ace of the Houston Astros bullpen, the best in all of baseball. And while having Robin Williams’ comic relief and Nolan Ryan’s closer alone would give us something to tell the other boys at the office, our seventh is a local law student by the name of Michael Lockett Garrett. Sound familiar? It should, it’s the same Mike Garrett who won a Heisman Trophy at USC and played in two Super Bowl games for Hank Stram’s Kansas City Chiefs, scoring a touchdown. Armen and I had known Mike for several years, so we thought nothing of inviting him out to play. Garrett literally was the seventh man to show up, having forgotten to set his clock back to standard time the night before. As he strode onto the field, comments ranged from Bentley’s “Wait until I tell my father about this” to everyone’s declaration, “Garrett’s on my team.”
Not playing to win my ass.
Ironically, each of our “celebrity warriors” was as excited about meeting each other as we were playing with them.
One thing was certain, those three weren’t going to be on the same team. Since we were one man short, and we only had one quarterback, Jay played for both teams. Armen and Smith, who played baseball together at San Diego State ,wanted to team up again, so they added their starting left fielder, Hanson, completing the Aztec connection and the teams were set.
Okay, I thought, with Garrett, Thomas’ arm, Bentley’s speed, and my hands, this will be a cinch.
That cinch lasted for one play as Jay (remember, he’s playing for both teams) hit Randy with a bomb for a touchdown. Suckers walk.
Our ball, first down. Bentley flies, drops a pass in his hands, and returns to the huddle gasping for breath… damn tennis players. Second down. .Garrett drops a pass. Third down, Garrett drops a pass. Thomas informs Mike that there used to be a Heisman Trophy winner that had the same name as him. Garrett finally fires up enough memory cells to make a couple of great catches, which give us a tenuous one-touchdown lead. With Armen’s team driving, Garrett again took over. Each time the opposition went back into their huddle, they lost five yards as Garrett gave the ball an ever-so-slight nudge backwards away from our goal. On a critical drive, he even talked them out of a down, convincing them it was third down when it really was only second. Following that stunt, we had to retreat into a defensive huddle to avoid being caught laughing. Garrett is going to be a hell of a lawyer.
With the score tied, I lined up with defensive coverage on Smith, who was split left. I looked across the line at a man who one year before had burst onto
the baseball scene with A 7-5 record, 10 saves, and a 1.93 ERA in 57 appearances. The same man who 12 months earlier had struck out Mike Schmitt with the bases loaded in a crucial PLAYOFF game to pick up his first playoff win, and, only two weeks prior, whiffed seven Dodgers in three innings to secure another Astros playoff victory.
I was as overmatched as I would have been against Smth’s fastball. We trailed by a touchdown. Then Keteyian picked off a Thomas pass, and we trailed by two.
But we came back. I redeemed myself, scoring a touchdown on a down-out and deep pattern off a pump fake that Jay and I had perfected as teammates for our Pi Lambda Phi fraternity team at Jacksonville University. Garrett caught another TD, and when Ken streaked for a touchdown after nearly two hours of play, victory was ours. Following the game, Garrett told Thomas that the only quarterback he played with in professional football who had an arm as strong as his was George Mira. He made a friend for life.
The next day, Ken and Armen limped to work. Armen said Randy was just as bad. Mike and Jay stopped by the office to meet us for lunch, each complaining of stiff, aching, sore muscles. Smith would later call and say it felt like the first day of spring training. They all looked at me, amazed. Aren’t you sore at all? “Nope,” I boasted. Little DID they know that I couldn’t walk for a week, the ultimate weekend warrior to the end.,
POSTSCRIPT- 2026: What became of the players:
JAY THOMAS: Called the funniest man who ever lived by David Letterman, Jay lived out his dream when he went on to play a football coach in the award-winning motion picture MR HOLLAND’S OPUS. Jay would also win two Emmy Awards as Jake Gold in MURPHY BROWN, and starred in three other series, including CHEERS. Jay was also featured in more than 100 other movies and TV series, including the SANTA CLAUSE, LAW & ORDER, and RAY DONOVAN. Jay was the first radio DJ to be # 1 in both NYC and LA. He passed away from cancer at the age of 2017.
DAVE SMITH: played 13 years for the Houston Astros and Chicago Cubs earning 216 saves, which ranks him 34th in major league history. His 33 saves in 1986 was third best in the NL in a year THAT the Astros won the NL West. An All-Star in 1986 and 1990, Smith holds the Astros career records for most games pitched (586) and most saves (199). Dave later served as pitching coach for the San Diego Padres. He passed away in 2008.
ARMEN KETEYIAN: left San Diego and the PR business to become one of America’s most respected, Emmy Award-winning investigative journalists. Starting at Sports Illustrated Magazine, he advanced to NFL football, HBO Real Sports, CBS Evening News, and ultimately 60 Minutes. Armen is the author of 13 non-fiction books including six New York times best sellers including TIGER WOODS, which became an HBO documentary. Look for his next book.
KEN BENTLEY: Became a long-time fixture at The Carnation Company, where he served as Vice President of Community Affairs for Nestle USA. Retired to become co-founder and CEO on the Advocates Professional Golf Association (APGA) and a non-profit organization dedicated to inspiring an inclusive future through the game of golf. Ken has written seven award-winning books, including MEN OF COURAGE. A book that the LA Times said belongs in every junior high and high school library. Men of Courage became a one-hour documentary, which was nominated for an NCAA Image Award in 1994.
RANDY HANSON – After a stellar baseball career at San Diego State, Hanson enjoyed an interesting life that’s included ownership of a truck stop in Indio, California, and an ice cream company and cigar store in Palm Springs. He is the CEO, with wife Nora, of Summit Events, a San Diego-based Meeting Management and Event Planning Company that coordinates events worldwide for Volvo Cars of North America. He and Nora reside in San Diego.
MIKE GARRETT: Completed his law degree at Southwestern University School of Law, and later failed to win a seat on the San Diego City Council, thus changing college football history. Undaunted, he returned to Los Angeles, where he ultimately became the Athletic Director at his Alma Mater, USC. At USC, he rebuilt the football program beginning with the hiring of Pete Carroll as head coach. Under Garrett’s watch, the trophy case at Heritage Hall was expanded to accommodate Heisman Trophy statues awarded to Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush.
FRANK PACE: Moved to LA, where he became one of Hollywood’s most prolific television producers. He has more than 700 episodes of network TV to his credit. His work includes shows such as Head of the Class, Murphy Brown, Suddenly Susan, George Lopez, Shake it Up, and Girl Meets World. Frank also produced the Emmy Award Winning bio pic Babe Ruth. He has co-written 4 books, three with his co-writer Billy O’Connor, with whom he also hosts A Mick A Mook and A Mic podcast.
